Why do abusive men stay in relationships with women they hate?

There's a lot of answers about why women stay in abusive relationships but I wonder why the abusive men do? I mean if their moody all the time and their either verbally or phsyically abusive to their partner, why stay in a relationship that makes you want to hit out?Why do abusive men stay in relationships with women they hate?
Being an abuser is not about love or hate for them. It is only about control. These men (and women) tend to have been abused themselves or have witnessed spousal abuse as children. They start out with an unhealthy view of relationships and a huge hit to their self esteem. This is what they know. Being abusive gives them a sense of control over overwhelming feelings of fear and insecurity. The fear of losing their partner is what drives this. As a health professional and one who has been in an abusive relationship, I can speak from experience on this issue.





Now to the issue of control. All of us feel the need to control some aspects of our lives because our nature and our operating program tells us that we have to do whatever it takes to avoid pain and seek pleasure. The anger and need to control that is part of the abuser's operating system is his/her way of avoiding pain...the pain of loss in situations of abuse.





I have included some links on human nature and what relationships should look like from a spiritual perspective. Hope you find them interesting.





Best WishesWhy do abusive men stay in relationships with women they hate?
Asking the question implies that the reason they're abusive is because the other person makes them miserable and its they're fault the person is abusive. THAT isn't what abuse is about. People who abuse have a need to manipulate and control, trust me...no matter what you do, it will not please an abusive person.


Reason why people abuse is because they aren't happy with themselves. But instead of making changes to themselves they blame everyone else and/or manipulate/control others with negativity to make themselves feel better.
Perhaps they have a sadistic love.They expressed their love by hurting their wives.Weird is not it? but that is how a Sadist man loves - that is through hurting the one he love...You Know if this abusive man does not love their wives they better just leave or file a divorce...but they stay..it only means they do also love their wives but are just sadistic in loving them.
A drug dealer needs addicts, and abusers need victims. The dealer and the abuser both thrive on controlling their subjects.





If the addict and victim choose not to break this bond, they might just as well put a gold ring on their controllers finger, because it lasts for life.





It is their intent to keep you that way, it's their euphoric high, they will not leave you and may even increase the amount of control they have over you. Your pain and suffering is music to their ears, that's why they stay.





Good Luck - Bless You








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If a man finds out he can domanate a woman and still have her while he does whats he wants to do, he will keep her around. Due to when things do not go his way he comes back and has his ice cream and cake. She is a fall back girl, some a man can fall back to when things go sour in another relationship he has on the side.
I have no idea and have never thought about it that way. I have never hit a woman and I do not like violence at all. I think those that do hit are in it for control. They like to control women. Nuts huh? I feel so badly for the women who end up with asssholes like that.
They stay because they can CONTROL their wife! They are to insecure to take their anger out on other men. If a guy were to come up to them wanting to fight, these jerks would run with their tail tucked under their legs.The Wives are their victim because they are the only ones they can control.
Because they enjoy having the power and control over their partner, and most abusive men were abused when they were younger, so they see nothing wrong with it.....as far as some of them are concerned, its normal.
Becaus they know a quality, sane woman would never want them. Please, stop putting up with abuse %26amp; become a quality, sane woman again!
It's kind of like a war lord that conquers villages and countries. This land is mine. She's property, a most loyal vicitm that he can take everything out on.
Power that is all it is plus someone to wait on then , but remember abuse is done by big brave men?
thay are abusive, thay abuse all woman that will let them if thay got another woman thay would try to do them the same way,
they dont hate them. they just want to control something. them.
It's not that they hate the woman. In fact, they may very well love her, or at the least need her. Believe it or not, people who have anger problems don't sit there and choose to be abusive. It could be just because of their abrasive personality, or more likely, with the way the were raised and or some traumatic event in their childhood. Personally, as a woman, I have anger issues as well. I'm not physically abusive, but I find when I get very angry it is VERY difficult to stop myself from yelling, screaming, and overreacting. Now, I have realized this about myself and am working to change it. Believe me though, it's actually very difficult. I know that my anger problems are very trivial compared to some, and it is EXTREMELY hard to change. You can't truly understand it unless you have problems yourself. With enough dedication and will power, you can start to act better, but you can never control those impulses. They are always there. In a lot of instances with abusive relationships, they don't truly hate the person. In fact, they often love them. They just do not know how to control or stop their anger and persistent rages. This is not an excuse for their behavior, but it is an explanation. For those who do not truly love their partner, they are often using them. Whenever they find someone who is actually willing to tolerate their hanger, they cling to it as hard as they can. If ever they feel they might be losing their hold on that person, they will often turn ';sweet'; for a little while and rope them back in.





I'm not justifying their actions, but I try not to judge because it really is a very difficult transformation to change. It's not like a drug addiction where once it's out of your system you can try and forget about it. Those rage impulses are ALWAYS there, no matter how long you try and control them. Now, someone who is truly mastering their change can control these impulses, but it's difficult and quite exhausting to be honest.